Though it is not a routine I wish to have, because I miss him so much, we are getting into our own routine. I would say we talk an average of about 7 times per week and visits anywhere from once to twice a month. Do not get me wrong, I love that we are even able to talk and see each other, but I really wish that he was here instead of there.
Visits are great, looking at him makes my day. I feel blessed at those moments. I wish I could go more but it does get expensive. I have to drive 3 1/2 hrs each way. The gas is like 50 bucks and then food. I go as early as I can so you need food for breakfast and lunch. The prices are not crazy high but it runs at least 20 bucks for food for the two of us. So depending on where you are coming from it would run about 75 dollars or so. It is worth seeing him totally but I cannot do it all the time.
When we talk we try to keep each other informed about normal everyday things. It is important to keep normality. For him and for me. It is our 15 min escape. I sit here sometimes and feel like I am in a dream, or should I say nightmare. I try my best to not get down, and I do a pretty good job of keeping the faith and keeping my head up. But I must admit there are days when I just say man this sucks. It sucks even more when you know that they are not the person they make them out to be.
I use to make a habit of saying why is this happening? Not about this in particular but about every bad thing that has happened. I was always asking God why does this have to happen, felt pity for myself often. When I learned more about God I changed my ways and I am always thankful for everything. I try to find the good in every situation. I do believe that God has a plan, and this has all happened for a reason. I know that something good will come out of this, and things will fall into place. But every once in a while, I do sneak a God, why is this happening? Why can't he come home now? It is hard to deal with, life would be different of course if he was home, but he is not. So for now this is our routine. This is our life.
I still pray everyday for things to change. For people to listen. For justice. I know that there are many others out there going through this. Please keep your heads up. Have hope. The more we stand up for their rights, the more we will be heard.
It has been almost a year now. I must admit it has gone pretty fast. I believe life is precious and I treasure everyday. I do not want to rush life because we only have a limited amount of time here, but on the other hand I want the time to go fast so it is hard to balance. It gets confusing at times. I want to live a happy life, but I want him to be a part of that. Yes he is a part of it, but from afar. I know our day will come and we talk about the day I pick him up at those gates. Oh that day will be wonderful I know. I dream about it all the time. Just to be able to hold him without getting in trouble will be wonderful!!
Visits are great, looking at him makes my day. I feel blessed at those moments. I wish I could go more but it does get expensive. I have to drive 3 1/2 hrs each way. The gas is like 50 bucks and then food. I go as early as I can so you need food for breakfast and lunch. The prices are not crazy high but it runs at least 20 bucks for food for the two of us. So depending on where you are coming from it would run about 75 dollars or so. It is worth seeing him totally but I cannot do it all the time.
When we talk we try to keep each other informed about normal everyday things. It is important to keep normality. For him and for me. It is our 15 min escape. I sit here sometimes and feel like I am in a dream, or should I say nightmare. I try my best to not get down, and I do a pretty good job of keeping the faith and keeping my head up. But I must admit there are days when I just say man this sucks. It sucks even more when you know that they are not the person they make them out to be.
I use to make a habit of saying why is this happening? Not about this in particular but about every bad thing that has happened. I was always asking God why does this have to happen, felt pity for myself often. When I learned more about God I changed my ways and I am always thankful for everything. I try to find the good in every situation. I do believe that God has a plan, and this has all happened for a reason. I know that something good will come out of this, and things will fall into place. But every once in a while, I do sneak a God, why is this happening? Why can't he come home now? It is hard to deal with, life would be different of course if he was home, but he is not. So for now this is our routine. This is our life.
I still pray everyday for things to change. For people to listen. For justice. I know that there are many others out there going through this. Please keep your heads up. Have hope. The more we stand up for their rights, the more we will be heard.
It has been almost a year now. I must admit it has gone pretty fast. I believe life is precious and I treasure everyday. I do not want to rush life because we only have a limited amount of time here, but on the other hand I want the time to go fast so it is hard to balance. It gets confusing at times. I want to live a happy life, but I want him to be a part of that. Yes he is a part of it, but from afar. I know our day will come and we talk about the day I pick him up at those gates. Oh that day will be wonderful I know. I dream about it all the time. Just to be able to hold him without getting in trouble will be wonderful!!
