So this past Saturday I got to visit again. Considering where we were, we had a really nice time. I loved that I got to hold his hand and look into his beautiful eyes. It kills me inside knowing that he should not be where he is. He is not the man they say he is. People make mistakes and at times are in need in help. He does not deserve to be locked up the way that he is. But I must say I am proud of how strong he is. He has a wonderful heart and I just pray that being in prison does not change that.

This time the wait to get in was much longer than last time. It was a surprise to everyone on line. I left my house at 6:30 in the morning, got there around 10:00 and did not get to see him until 12:30. Even though I wish I could have had more time, I am still very happy that I got to see him. 

Some days its not that bad for me. I just try to think that the day will come when I will be there waiting for him to walk through those doors a free man. Then other days I think about how many years it will be and about the fact the since all are categorized equally with sex crimes, he will have another 15 years of probation and a life time of registry, so he will actually never be free! I am hoping that something will change soon so that that will not be the case shortly.

Well we ate and talked and ate and talked some more. The hardest part of the visit is the goodbye. You walk one way he walks the other. I do not want to leave. I would sit in that room for days to be able to be close to him. Then I have four hours to drive home and think about it. Though I can't complain, at least I am free. He has to go back to his lonely world just thinking about how much it sucks that he can't be home with the ones who love him. 

I am having one of those sad moments right now. I wan't to hug him, hold him but I can't. But I need to be strong. I need to keep the faith. And I will continue to have hope for a loved one.

So I just listened to a talk show regarding internet offences and the severity of punishments. Gail Colletta President of the Florida Action Committee was a guest speaker, along with others trying to make changes

Though this show mainly spoke of child porn one point that was made was a point that I have to agree with strongly. That point is that all people who are arrested for sexual offenses are being placed into one category no matter what the charge is and then labeled a threat to society and put on a registry forever. This is something that needs to change and quickly. It does not matter if you have no prior arrests, no real interest in children, if you were just curious or you just opened your big mouth and said some stupid things; in Florida it seems that those things are not relevant  Even if you were using a file share site and child porn was mixed into the downloads, you are still labeled the same as a person who has actually went out and harmed a child, had physical contact with a child, molested a child. Sometimes the punishment is even more harsh for these offenders. 

Is there not something wrong with this picture? Something has got to give. I am so happy that there are people out there fighting for this, trying to make a change. Why are we ruining the lives of these men who are non violent and who are not a threat to children? Of course the laws are here to help protect our children and that is important, but they are not catching the people who are a real threat this way. 

I am not really sure what has happened here. Since starting this website/blog I have had the chance to hear many stories. I would have never thought in a million years that things like this were going on. Prior to this happening I would have been like everyone else and congratulate law enforcement for making such arrests. But that is the point, the public is not being told how all of these people are getting "caught". Until you are in this situation you would have no idea what was going on. But don't worry, at the rate it is going, everyone will soon have a friend or family member arrested as a sexual offender. Is that what it is going to take in order for people to really listen? I hope not, because in the mean time there are thousands of men all over the country sitting in jail with their lives ruined because of these types of stings. 

I am asking for help. Help from a lawyer who is willing to handle my Boyfriends case, not for money but for change.  But the person must have the drive and nerve to stand up to these insane laws and make a difference. I feel like I have learned so much, have complied so much info that would be useful in at least starting to make a change but we need a person on our side who has the authority and ability to take cases like these to court. So many other states are banning these type of stings. These stings are doing nothing more than creating pedophiles out of men who are not really interested in children. In my mind there is just so much that does not add up. If people really knew what was going on the laws would be changed. 

I know that a lawyer who is willing to fight for this would have a lot of work ahead of them, but if it helps to free thousands of men that are locked up eating tax payers money it would be worth it! I know people will read this and think that I am trying to let child abusers free. That is not what I am doing at all. Child abusers, murders, thieves, people who committed these crimes need to be in prison and I am so thankful that our laws put them in prison. But when you take a man who has said some stupid things to an undercover on the other end of a keyboard, where there was no real child involved and give them more of a punishment then people who have actually abused children, who's intent was to find a child. Who have actually had contact with children, there is a problem. A big problem. Most of these men are productive active members of the community who have the ability to talk about some disturbing things. It may be immoral but words and crazy imagination should not be illegal.

I have been speaking to a lot of people who are going through the same thing. I find it interesting that a lot of these guys have had some events that occurred in their lives that were  stressful and some of these men may even have been clinically depressed. But as you will see none of this seems to matter. No alternatives are being used. You are labeled then thrown in jail, most for a really long time.

People going through this will tell you that yes according to the current law, they have broken the law. That is not the point I am trying to argue. What we need to change is the law itself. Even if the men attempted to meet with the undercover how can they say that the accused did not really think that the woman was acting? Well the law will argue that it is the intent right? Well when these men went onto the ADULT website their intent was not to find a child, there intent was to find a woman. Not until the idea was put into their minds, not until conversations were started by these woman was there any thought of seeking out a child. If you ask these men they thought that they were going to meet some freaky woman who was willing to put out, and they were going to get some! The job of law enforcement should not be to find out how many men they can make talk about immoral things, their job should be to find men who are intending to find children and molest them. With these internet stings this is NOT THE CASE. 

I have read a lot of comments, blogs and articles regarding this topic and yes there are many people who say good, these men are getting what they deserve. I do not judge anyone and each is entitled to their own opinions, but before you make judgement you should really know the facts. There are many characteristics of sexual predators and child molesters and most of these men do not fit that profile. Remember you do not just wake up mid life and have an interest in children. If you read my page of characteristics of a sexual predator you would see what the signs are. This profile was created by law enforcement and they are not following their own guidelines. There would be indications, signs and more than likely other events that happened that would indicate these men as interested in children. Remember most of these men are speaking to an adult, they are already sexually driven and the "woman" brings up the idea not the man. 

Floridians this message is for you! You have seen such an increase in sexual predators the past couple of years. We in Florida are known to have so many sex offenders. Do you not see why? Do you not see that they are creating these sex offenders? Do you really believe that since the internet has come about that more men became sexual offenders? Where were all these men before the internet? Do you think they were all hiding behind the bushes in parks waiting for the internet to be invented so that they could become sexual predators and offenders? NO, they were not. These cases are just a test of morality. Lets see what he will say. Will he dare talk about this? Sadly a lot of men would. Even your husband, your father, your brother, your uncle etc.. You can't honestly say that they would not, because that is who all these men are!

How many lives have to be ruined before a change is made? Really the lives of these men are ruined. Not only is it hurting them, it is hurting their friends, family members loved ones. It is preventing them from becoming a part of society again once they are finished with their crazy prison sentences. A lot of these men are young and can not have a family of their own now. They cannot find a place to live or a job. They are labeled forever as a sexual predator or sex offender. Without people knowing the truth they will not be able to get rid of those labels. 

Please there has to be people out there who want to make a change. At least help give these men a chance. Why is it that their lifestyles are not considered? Why is it that their criminal background is not taken into consideration? If their lives were more closely evaluated and they were found to never have any interest in children before, if they have been a productive member of society with no arrests prior why cant the real issues at hand be dealt with? Why these years in prison and years of probation and a life time of registry? Until this has happened to a person you know, you really could not understand. 

The things that I need help with and the things that I feel that need changing are:

• Fully evaluating each man separately for each case. They are lumping all of these cases into one category not giving these men a fair chance. It seems to be that you said immoral things so now you are a pedophile. How is it fair that they can say that you had intent to seek out a child, that you would really molest a child if given the chance and NOT take into consideration anything about their lives? 
• The severity of the punishments. Instead of years in prison, probation and sex registry the real issues at hand, depression and anxiety etc.. should be dealt with. These men were and could be active members of society and most of them are not threat to any person or child. These men who are sent to prison have to be at least medium security and cannot participate in any kind of work program.
• Entrapment issues. Law enforcement should not be allowed to go into adult based dating sites and seek out men who are willing to talk about freaky sex. They should be concentrating on finding real predators, spending their money on the men who are looking for children to begin with. They usually hang out in areas of the internet where teens or kids would hang out. NOT in adult based chat rooms. 
• Really these men are being imprisoned and are being made out to be monsters. They were prior to getting arrested active members of the community. A lot of people are not able to handle prison without changing. By putting these men in prison the state is going to start creating criminals. These men are going to become bitter and angry. They are not going to be able to be productive once they are released. GOVERNMENT officials, why are you creating criminals?
• Stop using the sensitivity of this matter in your favor! Like I said before we all want to protect our children. And we as a community want to get the threat off the street, internet. So when cases like these come along, juries are already going to come back with a guilty verdict no matter what. Why are only 1% of these cases won in court? Because juries (who I do not blame) are going to want to put any threat to children in jail no matter what. It really does not matter what the other circumstances are. Once transcripts are read that is it! They know nothing about these men, who they really are. If they are able to talk like this they must be guilty right? WRONG!
•  More people need to speak out. So please if you are a lawyer who has done some research on this and want to help free these men please contact me! Let the world know the truth and help put a stop to these internet stings occurring in adult based chat rooms! THEY NEED YOU! WE NEED YOU!

I hope that one day soon a law enforcement agent, a lawyer of a government official comes across this post and decides to read it. This is my plea for help. Since it seems as though these are the only people who can get their voices heard, take a stand for these men! I think that it is wonderful when sexual offenders are caught and punished for their actions. That is the way it is supposed to be. But when you start messing with the lives of innocent men it no longer honorable, it is ridiculous. Most "officials" know what is going on. They realize that there are quotas to make and elections to win. There are higher positions available to those who catch these monsters, right!! Well before we go putting thousands of men in prison for an isolated incident and ruining their lives think about what this is doing to families, jobs, communities and much more. Research into the lives of these men if you want to punish them with years of jail and probation and a registry that makes it impossible for them to live a normal life. 

Yes they said some stupid things, but I am sure you have also. I do not know how some of you can sleep at night. I have heard and researched so many stories regarding these issues. Most of the men caught on internet stings in which the chats were based in adult chat rooms and adult classifieds are NOT pedophiles or predators! If you work as an official for the state or government then you know this in your heart. You know how these men start talking with an adult woman and then all of a sudden the women brings up the topic of a minor. Even slightly bringing up crazy sex talk or starting an idea in a horny mans head is not the way to go about this. You see how many men are willing to talk about that crazy stuff. They are willing to talk about anything crazy if that is what you want to hear. Be fair, research their past. If you see no signs of previous predatory behavior, if there is no indication except this one incident of interest in children, get these men help for sex addictions or depression, do not ruin their lives. Some men are actually just able to speak about this without having a sex addition or being depressed. How can you call someone a predator if you are not getting these men evaluated prior to arresting them. If you are allowed to lure them which is what is really happening, if you are allowed to give them ideas, then be fair and have them evaluated after. Men will want to go meet a woman who is pretending to be a young girl. It is a fantasy. It is the fantasy of most men. How do you know that they would stay and have sex with a child if there was really one there? How can you put these men in prison but assuming that it was nothing more than immoral stupid conversations? 

I can totally understand if you were in a child or teen chat room and the man was going out looking for a child, approaching a child and then going to meet them. But by starting the conversation off as an adult, in an adult environment where men want to get their rocks off, by putting ideas into a horny man's head, you are not catching the real predators. Have you ever had immoral conversations with your spouse? Have you ever said things that you cannot believe you said? Most likely you have. Should your life be ruined because you had immoral thoughts?

Not only is it crazy that these men are getting all this jail time and probation, but because of the nature of the crime they have to be medium security, they cannot get any work release in prison because of this. They cannot have families of their own if they want to. 

I heard of people accidently downloading child porn on sharing websites. I know that this is more than possible because I have downloaded songs and it turned out to be adult porn. Even when the child porn was immediately erased from this persons computer, they were still arrested? For what? For extra funding or something to that affect?

Of course you are going to think that I am particial because this is my boyfriend. But think again. This was my boyfriend before this happened. We were not together for years, then when this happened we started talking as friends and got back together. Why would I a mother of a young child go back with a man who I think is a child predator?  I could have easily walked away and found someone else. But I know him, I know him extremely well. I know that he can talk crazy sexually, no we never spoke about children but we have had some crazy sexually explicit conversations. Ms. Undercover cop, just because he went along and played off of your crazy ideas, does that make him a predator? No it does not. It makes him a stupid horny man.

Bottom line is this. I would like you law officials, lawyers and government agents to think about this for a few minutes. I know it is nice to promote yourself, look like the good guy, but what if this was your husband, wife, brother, uncle, best friend? What if in your heart you knew that they were not sexual predators, that they were never interested in children? What if you knew this 100% but it did not matter. Not at all. What if they were taken to prison and locked up for years upon years while you wait for them to return? While there parents and grandparents get older and can only pray that they are still around to see them when they get out. What if you were planning on raising a family with this person but can't know because they are not allowed to be around children? Really think about it. Is putting these men away worth your five minutes of fame? Is ruining the lives of others and their family and friends worth it to you? 

I hope not. I hope that someone out there is brave enough to speak out and let the world know how these adult based stings take place. What really goes on and how they have no real chance because anyone who has authority in this country can label you as a child molester and everyone else is going to want to see that person locked up without knowing the real story. 

Lots of states and judges have stopped these types of stings because they really are unconstitutional. I bet in your hearts most of you already know that you are creating pedophiles. You hear about how much of a good job law enforcement is doing by catching all these so called predators. Florida is a state that is becoming known for having so many sex offenders. Why? Because YOU ARE CREATING THEM. Do you really think that there are thousands and thousands of predators lurking around behind bushes? No, these are men speaking in fantasy land with fantasy kids. They are telling you what you want to hear. Why do so many men fall for this? Because when they are talking to you they are thinking with their other brain. The one that wants to tell you what you want to hear so they can get laid. 

I know that there are many of you out their who just do not want to admit that this is wrong and that you are scared to be the outcast. But I pray to God everyday that my man and the other men going through this will get the chances and the justice that they deserve. 

So my man is not a cook. Well at least not until now. When you are in prison lets face it, the food is not what you would call gourmet. According to him, you have to become a little creative, especially on the days when you just can't eat what they are serving. From what he tells me ramen noodles are pretty popular. Not only are they filling, you can create a lot of different things with them. Though they are very fattening and provide no nutrition, they will take the hunger away.

Here is an example of something he has made. Let me tell you it does not sound very appetizing to me, but he says it is not that bad. 

You cook the ramen noodles in the microwave. DO NOT USE PACKET for this recipe. When done cooking the noodles, add a package of tuna. Then you add some mayo and relish and mix it around. You now have a Tuna casserole. Not very complex but he said it tastes pretty good. Well as good as it can at least.

He did say that ramen noodles are the way to go for now, but when he gets out he will never eat another package! Poor guy. I wish I could cook him a nice meal. 

So it has been a long time since I have seen him. Six months actually. I missed him so much. Though I wished I was seeing him on the outside, it was nice to finally put my arms around him. I must say for visiting a person in prison it was not as bad or as scary as I thought it would be. I did not know what to expect. I was unsure of the policies and procedures, though I read all about it before I went. The wait to get in was not that long. When you do get in, the staff is actually pretty nice. You do not feel uneasy. The whole process from waiting to get in, to obtaining pin, getting searched and waiting in the visitation room for him to come out took about an hour. 

When I finally got to see him I was very pleased. It was so nice to be able to hug and kiss him. I hate that he is away, I pray that he gets out soon, but it felt really good to see him. They have a window where you can buy food, snacks, drinks etc.. They have vending machines. You can sit in the cafeteria or outside if you like. The atmosphere is pretty relaxed and you kind of feel like you are at lunch in high school. I am so relieved to know that the visits will be nice. I can't wait to go back!

If you would like any info about visiting at Desoto, feel free to write me.